So answer me, where is the good part in goodbye? It used to be easy to say goodbye. Something like a hope for something good through every single tear at any farewell. Then it also used to be easy to wish that there will be a new hello after goodbye.
Personally, it just snuck up on me to know that finally you found another club to play with. It feels that weird to imagine that you will dribble on another pitch immediately. It feels that weird to think of one day you will mark Milan strikers in your new jersey.
Sometimes I curse my brain for it is so easy to play so many memories back. I don’t remember the first time I saw you play with Milan. What I remember is my first Milan match. But it has been crystal clear on my mind when I saw your goal against Juventus at home match on 15 May 2010. Completely sure that you still remember it too. It has felt that awesome till this second on this day. How you brought me into my highest adrenaline, how you made me scream like a crazy one. I remember that joy, I adore that satisfaction.
Can I be honest? You sometimes – well OK, often – made me crazy at almost of your matches. I admit that I was that mad everytime I saw you do some mistakes at crossing or when you were being late to mark your opponents. I could be very angry at every lost, but I could be overjoyed at any winning. That is why I adore football. Football has gotten me so honest. I’m angry when I want to be angry, I’m sad when I want to be sad, I’m disappointed when I want to be disappointed, I’m glad when I want to be glad. How every little thing in it brings me the real atmosphere of owning something. What I feel is, I become a part of what you play for. I know it sounds so naive even silly to feel that I also belong to Milan. But that is what you guys have made to me – and perhaps another Milanista.
And you know what? Your farewell just made me realize about a good thing in goodbye. It is not about finding someone new, it is about how it reminds me of every good thing – even though it is out of football context. It reminds me how you splashed some glitter on Milan Christmas video, how you got me laugh because of it. It reminds me about that El Shaarawy head-juggling-shoe video, how you added some backsound for it. “El El El Shaarawy....” Remember that part? I stole my office hours just to watch it over and over again. Thank God my boss was too stupid to realize it. Or about how you borrowed Balotelli’s “Why Always Me” words when you tweeted the-way-Llorente-broke-your-nose photo, not too long after Cristante broke your nose. And yes, your family Harlem Shake video. Be proud of it, only your Harlem Shake could make me laugh.
Note this, highlight this. Those little things convince me that a footballer is not only about scoring or tackling, not only about Big Ears Trophy or Ballon d’Or – but also about how to make me (and another fan) closer to you guys, to make me sure that you guys can be so touchable. Maybe my biggest lost feeling of you defines about how you make me waste every what-I-adore-is-too-far-to-reach thought.
So - grazie mille, terima kasih banyak, thank you very much. Good luck, the very best lucky and blessing are yours wherever you are now. I wish Genoa will also give you a good PlayStation rival just like El Shaarawy. Just look at his tweet, how he becomes sad because of your transfer. Once again, thank you for every single sweet memory. I’m being this cheesy and weird on behalf of them to apologize for every boo, for every anger, for every disappointment.
Above all, just be happy there for you have made me (and perhaps them) happy by your football and yourself. I have loved you for sure though I had not told it. Haha.
God bless you more, cheers!
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